Here's my homemade ant-moat, which so far has kept most of the ants off the hummingbird feeder. I say most, because somehow a couple have gotten through, but that's okay.
Unless the "Moses Of The Ants" comes and parts this sea of tap-water, I forsee no further ant problems.
1. Wire from an old clothes hanger
1. Mott's applesauce cup
1. Dab of caulking around hole
And the winner is (dramatic pause...) Lilac!
My daughter carefully considered all the names suggested (thanks!) and did some very scientific experiments which involved calling her to see which one she responded to best. Okay then, Lilac it is!
She's doing great! She's starting to get the idea that she'll get a little chicken-flavored dog treat if she goes to the bathroom outside, instead of on the rug by the stairs, so that's progress.
I am very, very lucky. Many good things have happened in my life, but the best is that I get to share it with the most beautiful, kind, patient and centered person I know. Lisa and I married 15 years ago today, and somehow she is even prettier now than she was back then! Yeah, I got the good end of this deal, I know!
I love people. I guess you could say I'm a "people person." But I really don't want to talk to any people in the bathroom at work. Not about work, not about kids or pets or anything. Here's the maximum length for any work-bathroom conversation, and this is for somebody I know well:
"How you doin?"
"Good."
That's it. I've even found an out-of-the way restroom in another part of the building that I've been using sometimes to avoid the restroom chit-chat. I won't tell you where it is, because then my secret will be out.
On Mothers Day an army of ants launched a full-scale invasion of our hummingbird feeder (shown here in happier days). What impresses me is they have to scale a 6-foot pole, crawl down a small wire, get the food, then carry it back on what must be a 10-mile trek in ant-world. They are training them well in ant-boot-camp.
I thought that the hummingbirds might actually like it, because they'd get free, unlimited ants with each trip to the feeder. It's like you go to the drive-through for a large Pepsi, and they also give you a free bag of fries. Not so. It turns out that hummingbirds not only do not like ants (at least not these ants) but they're actually staying away.
We washed off the pole and the feeder, but they came right back. I saw an "ant moat" at the hardware store, but it was 6 bucks, so I didn't buy it. Still working on alternatives. Let me know if you've solved this problem! Thanks!
Last night was my son's junior high spring orchestra concert. (He plays the cello!) I'm glad we weren't sitting in the row behind us, because a woman next to us held up this giant tablet computer over her head, so she could record the whole thing!!!
I mean this was no little video camera, this was a big, wide moniter, bigger than the tv we had in my house when I was a kid! You could see the ripples going back for rows, as people behind her had to adjust their necks and chairs to see around it. And she left it there the whole concert! My arms would have fallen off!
No one said anything! I guess they could still watch the concert on the screen!
Please tell me this isn't a trend! I thought we only had to worry about sitting behind really tall people or people with really big hair! Now you have to look out for the lady with the Jumbo-Tron?
Our still un-named puppy is spending a little more time in her crate! Lisa announced "I've had enough!" after cleaning up the latest mess on the carpet! (Note to our landlord: this is not the same "Bruce" who rented your house. That's another guy. This has nothing to do with him, so don't worry about anything. P.S. The bathroom drain leaks a little bit.)
Anyway, don't worry, she's getting plenty of fun play time both in and outdoors, but not so much run-of-the-house unsupervised time, which was when the little surprises were popping up. Fortunately, she likes her cozy little dog crate, and naps happily in there. We're working on potty training by rewarding her with a treat when she "goes" outside!
Nap, play and somebody gives you a reward for going to the bathroom! Not a bad life, I'd say!
Okay, I'm not sure which one of you is clogging up the toilet every single day, but let me tell you a few things: It's me who has to unplug it every time, and believe me, it doesn't look anything like this nice, clean clip-art picture by the time there have been 4 or 5 "dud" flushes.
I don't know what you people are doing that's causing this to happen, but let me count for you the exact number of times that I have plugged up a toilet in my entire life: Zero. Not once. Never. And yet a measurable portion of my adult life (maybe 10%) has been spent hunched over pumping and sloshing away at somebody else's disgusting mess.
So, beginning today, the following rules will apply:
1. Eat more fiber or smaller portions or something. Jeez!
2. You will be issued 5 (five) sheets of quality toilet tissue each day. That should be enough for anyone! Why do you need more than that?
3. New rule: You plug it, you un-plug it. Don't just walk away and hope it will magically unclog the next time somebody else uses it.
4. Then clean it! Have you seen it after it's been plugged?
5. If the water is getting close to the rim, shut the water off! Either take the back lid off and pull up the float, or turn off the water valve underneath! Now!
6. I will give you each 1 (one) lesson on this long-lost art, using my years of expertise as my guide.
Okay, I'm done. I'd like to promise* you, once again that this will be my final blog post about toilets.
* "I'd like to" renders this promise pretty much meaningless.
One big lesson from our first couple days of puppy-ownership: Anything within snout-reach will be either chewed or eaten, including the following:
Table legs
Rugs
Ants
Candy wrappers
Quilt my mom made, and
This $10.00 bill which was left on the coffee table! In this picture, I am trying to persuade her to give it back before it is either swallowed or completely shredded! What do you think she's thinking?
