I've got a super new weight-loss plan! I should write a book and make a million bucks! It's this simple: have a miserable toothache for a couple weeks, and watch the pounds melt off!
Despite three trips to the dentist, I have a tooth that is extra sensitive to the following:
Games of chance
Anyone named Dennis
Anyway, my two greatest weaknesses (for those plotting my eventual downfall) are Oreos and Mountain Dew. It's entirely possible that those are the cause of both my toothache and the extra couple pounds I picked up over the last few months. But with my new Dr. Brucey's Toothache Diet, my secret, un-natural urges to chew or eat anything have completely disappeared, and so has that man-muffin-top!
In fact, you know what sounds good right now? Some room temperature mashed-potatoes, a glass of lukewarm water and another Aleve!
Try it, you'll see!